I then decided to visit family and friends around New Zealand. Since leaving New Zealand 3 years ago my brief trips back have been pleasant but of not much interest. I have found New Zealand to be a little parochial and somewhat small-minded. The media looks inward rather than outwards and I have felt somewhat 'restrained' about what is acceptable to say.
My intention was to leave New Zealand as quick as possible so that I could get somewhere more interesting and warmer! However my nervousness about coping with my loss on my own, made me decide to stay for a few weeks longer. So I have been to a number of places around the North Island visiting family and friends and while the weather has been cold, the visits have been warm.
I haven't been able to see everyone as I needed to slow down and take time. If I missed you, sorry, maybe next time whenever that may be!
Some special thanks;
- To Cathy and Pete and the boys in the Hokianga. It ALWAYS rains when I visit. Which is good of course because it means that we have to stay inside and talk and eat and drink more!
- To Sabine (my favourite German) and Chris in Warkworth. There are always special meals with far too much red wine!
- To the Whangaparaoa crew. Jo, Larry, Ginny and Debbie (and Maltilda, sorry I didn't see you)! Always fun and great laughs. The wine bottle opens early and stays open late. And I hang out for Jo's cooking! See you in Bangkok Ginny!
- Wellington Mitzi. The laughs and smiles that I have with you leave a lot of warmth. We must plan to make sure it happens regularly. I don't want to wait years to see you again. Say hello to Boyd! Actually you have probably forgotten I was there.
- Havana Helen in Sydney. A special person with a special heart. You meant a lot to Stella and you mean a lot to me. Just love your passion; especially for fatty lamb!
- Lisa, Judith, Craig who just rang me up or met for coffee or wine.
- Ruth for the card!
- Louise for the special friendship to Stella and ongoing friendship to me.
- Michelle, Rodney, Sebastien and Jasper. Always welcoming and your support is huge. I hope you have done your chores Sebbie and avoid those distractions Jasper!
- My wonderful daughters Annie and Lucy. They are something special. They now pick me up and drive me around, organise a place to stay, and take me shopping. Somewhat of a role reversal here. They even organise their boyfriend's places for me to stay. Thanks Nick and Shaq.
I also need to say thanks to the crew from the 'Desh. You are all new friends but you have treated me and Stella so well. The way you all turned up to farewell me when I left Dhaka was something special.
- Greg and Linda. You two aren't bad for Aussies! Actually are there any Australian teams in the Super 15 final? Love the way you two love life. Will bring some good wine back to share with you.
- To the folk leaving. Big thanks! Especially Sandra, Raimey (bestie or beastie, not sure!) & Mamiko (Year 10 rocks) and, Jacob and Helen. Want to see you all in the future!
- Kim and Craig - Our ANZAC leadership. You have treated me so well. Big thanks! Kim and Philip aren't bad for people from foggy old 'amilton.
- Two couples who have welcomed us so well. Sonia and Neil! Charmaine and Eben! I look forward to many more BHC visits!
- The southern Belle - Kimi. Early morning blasts of the Atlanta drawl make me wake up every morning at 6.45am. "Y'all know what I mean!"
- Fellow kiwi Hugh. Changing Bangladeshi theatre habits one show at a time.
As I reflect on the last eight months, two things hit me hard. One good and the other maybe not so good.
The not so good; One of the hardest things both Stella and I found was the people who told us what to do to to 'cure' her cancer. Whether it was smoking marijuana, taking overdoses of vitamin C, coffee enemas, pureed veges, expensive retreats in Australia or Mexico, not eating anything white, drinking and eating red things only. We had all of these and the vehemence became tiresome and sad. If you were one of those people don't do it! It hurts!
The good; There are so many special, special people in the world. I am privileged to know many and have mentioned a few here. Two others are the oncologists, Anthony and Roger. Your description of 'courageously ignoring' hit a real thread.
As I head off to Thailand and then back to the 'Desh, my thoughts are mixed. Sad to be leaving friends and family but elated at the adventures ahead. One of my 'new' goals is to stay connected with important people in my life. So if you hear from me often then one of my goals has been met!
